The rest of the summer was a blurr. I was busy adjusting to getting back into the swing of things. I had to get accustomed to a new school, new colleagues, new students; a whole new way of life really. Teaching in Denver was far different than teaching in New York. Everything was more laid back, especially the people. I adored my new colleagues and my students even more. Everyone had made me feel so welcome even though they liked to make fun of my accent. There were a few younger teachers that I had even made friends with. For the first time in a long time I was feeling relatively normal and looking forward to my future and I had Kyle to thank for it. If I hadn't met him, I really don't know what road I'd be going down right now.
Kyle had been such a breath of fresh air. He was supportive and listened when I needed him to, but never felt sorry for me or contributed to a pity party. Back home everyone's idea of support was to say "Oh poor Ellery, her perfect life is over. Whatever will she do now?" And it was worse to my face. They treated me like I was some sort of porcelain doll - fragile and about to shatter at any moment. Even my closest friends pussy-footed around me and I hated it! Some of them had been torn between Lauren and I and chose her, but the friends I was left with found it difficult to deal with me - not because I wasn't handling the break-up well, but because everything was different. All of us girls had been friends since first grade; we had been through everything together. We couldn't have a conversation without it starting with remember when we... or remember when you and Lauren...and then it would be uncomfortable. Yes, Shawn fucking my best friend destroyed more than my happily ever after; it ruined every lifelong relationship I had outside of family. I eventually just secluded myself from them; I did not want to be the reason that the once unbreakable circle of friends was torn apart. They could have each other; I was done. But after everything that happened I couldn't or wouldn't trust anyone; not a great selling feature when you're trying to make new friends, so I worked and went home - that's it. That was what my life had become.
Kyle changed that for me. He made me realize I could trust people; I trusted him. He also made me remember there were good, decent people in the world and just because I had one horrible experience, I should not let it negatively affect the rest of my life. "Learn from it and move on Bronx. Don't let that douche bag have control over you, if you do, he wins. Is that what you want? Of course not," he answered his own question. "You are too good for that. You are strong and brave and have so much to give to this world so forget him; forget them all! New life, new friends, new you. You moved here, you have me, and you can be anything and anyone you want to be."
And that was my new motto, his wise words I now chose to live my life by.
As September rolled in Kyle amped up his rehab and training in order to be ready for the start of the season. He was exhausted and I was always busy but we made time to see each other every night; usually for dinner - either I cooked or he paid. We had agreed to take turns cooking and when it was his turn we either ordered in or went out.
"Trust me, you do NOT want me cooking for you! It's just better this way," he'd always say.
It was kind of a bizarre relationship that nobody really understood, especially my brothers.
"So you see this guy every day and you're not dating?" Patty asked in one of our nightly conversations.
"No, not dating. Kyle and I are just friends."
"That's not possible. Men and women can not be just friends. It's not not natural."
"Well I'm here to tell you that it can and does happen. Kyle and I are living proof."
"No way I'm not buying it! I think you're bangin' this guy and you're just not telling me."
"Classy Patty, real classy! I'm telling you the truth. Kyle is amazing but I have absolutely no romantic feelings for him nor does he for me. As a matter of fact, he has a beautiful girlfriend and has had for the last two years so again proof two people of the opposite sex CAN be friends."
"Is he gay?"
"Patrick Shaun O'Connor I am not even going to respond to that. I know you may not believe it Patty, but I don't care. I don't expect you to understand the relationship I have with Kyle when I don't understand it myself. I don't really know how to explain it. The first night I met him it was like I'd known him all my life. I've never been this close to anyone except you Patty. I don't know why, but I trust him with my life and I have him to thank for actually giving me back my life. Without him, I'd probably still be wallowing in self pity instead of feeling alive again and looking forward to my future."
Patty let out a big sigh. "Okay, I surrender. This guy must be something else if he's won you over. Maybe I should thank him for giving me my Elly-belly back."
"I will tell him you say thank you."
"I just want you to be happy Elle. That's all I've ever wanted for you and I was afraid after...everything that would never happen."
"I know Patty, and I can honestly say I am happy."
On this particular Tuesday night we were at Kyle's favourite steakhouse for dinner and he was unusually quiet.
"Is something bothering you Kyle, you're awfully quiet?"
"I'm okay, just have alot on my mind."
"Like...?"
"It's nothing, forget it."
"Are you even serious? Kyle, please. Let me be here for you the way you've been here for me."
"Training camp starts next week," he said very matter-of-factly.
"And you're...? Scared? Nervous?"
"Yes. They weren't even sure I'd ever play hockey again."
"And you've worked your ass off to prove them wrong."
"Yeah, but all that work has been just to get back on the ice. What if I can't actually play? It's been a year. What if I've lost it all?"
"Then at least you're healthy."
"You don't get it Elle. Hockey is my life. Has been since I was twelve. If I can't play hockey, I've got nothing."
"That's ridiculous! I'm not trying to make light of your feelings Kyle but really! A little perspective. If you can't play, and that's a BIG if, then you do something else. You have other interests. You have your paddle board company and you've been smart with your money. Maybe you get a job coaching somewhere. And mister, you have your friends and family, and Jenn and me so quit feeling sorry for yourself and worrying about something that probably won't even happen."
"Its not just that, its other things too."
"Like?"
"Well, like us."
"Us?"
"Everything is going to change once the season starts. I'll have practice and rehab and player commitments and there will be road trips and...you've grown on me ya know? And there will be times I'll be gone for days...without seeing you...I haven't gone a day without seeing you since I met you."
My heart sank a little. Okay, alot.
"I hadn't thought of that. I'm used to you just being here...everyday."
There was an awkward silence between us that had never been there before.
"So we make a promise, right here right now. We call, no not just call, we promise to talk everyday no matter what. If it's not before your game, then after. If it's not until you get to your hotel or the next city then so be it, but we will talk every day - no exceptions. Deal?"
"Deal."
We ate the rest of our meal with little conversation. It wasn't until the drive home when Kyle really spoke again.
"Are you busy this weekend?" he asked.
"No I don't think so."
"Will you go away with me? I have a little cabin up in the mountains. I go up before the season to clear my head and have a little r n' r before the craziness starts. Will you come with me - have some quality time before everything changes?"
"Well, I don't know," I chuckled. "How would Jenn feel about you going away for the weekend with another woman?"
It had been a standing joke between us - I was more like his girlfriend in Jenn's absence; one I still didn't really understand.
"Pretty sure she's not going to care," he replied.
"Really? Cause if I was her, I sure wouldn't be thrilled that you asked another girl to go away for the weekend."
"Well she doesn't have a say anymore. We broke up two weeks ago."
